the challenges of parenthood

Last Thursday, Joaqui came home from playing downstairs near our condo's swimming pool saying that he had let a child dive in the swimming pool. I was surprised and I asked him if he pushed the child or he just asked him to dive (a mother's instinct really made me thought of that). He looked at me and said he did not push him. So I rest my case since I trusted that he was telling the truth. After a while, one of his playmates knocked at our door and told us that Joaqui did push a child into the swimming pool. I was not angry at first, but really shocked because it was the farthest thing that I would imagine him to do - pushing another child into the swimming pool. I looked at Joaqui and he just said, "Sorry mommy! Sorry mommy!" We went downstairs and I asked Joaqui to apologize to the poor boy. Good thing he was not harmed and two older boys were with him.

Of course I scolded Joaqui and explained to him of what could have happened to the boy if he drowned or bumped his head on the steps going to the pool. I was disappointed because Joaqui is a good kid and I could not remember seeing him fight or push another child, even in school. I asked him why he did it, and he said that "he wanted the child to become a fish."

As a parent this made me asked myself how could this happen despite our constant reminders about not hurting other people. And I realized that while Joaqui already has a big imagination, and as we encouraged him to be anyone he wants and to make things come out the way he wants them to be, this is the time for a reality check. Now we explain to him carefully the limits of his imaginative play - especially if it can be hurtful to others. We also lessened his time for watching DVD (he watches Superman 1 to 5 over and over) and now I only let him watch age-appropriate DVDs like Blues Clues or Hi-5. He is grounded for a week, which means he cannot go outside our house to play. And while this seems a little harsh to others, I already saw an improvement in his behavior. He is more calm and not as restless as he used to be.

Parenthood is such a challenge, but I am up for it to ensure that my little one will grow up to be a caring and well-behaved person.

you're a firework

When Joaqui was a little younger, attending birthday parties was a little stressful for us because
Joaqui would cry just at the sight of the birthday party itself. What I would do was brief him a few days before the party on what to expect, where were we going, what we would do at the party, etc. and although it does not work all the time, somehow it lessened his anxiety. Up until he was about 2 or 3 years old, he would not really participate in games and sometimes cry when the party host's voice is too loud or when there is a lot of shouting going on, but still I would patiently assure him that it's just a party and people are happy and excited that is why they shout.

We kept on attending birthday parties, encouraging him to participate and I really noticed the improvement in his behavior, especially on the last two parties we attended. Now he loves to dance and show his dance moves to others.

He participates in games, listens to instructions well and really have fun - whether he wins or lose.


He is more responsive to other activities such as a magic show, even volunteering to be a magician's assistant one time.

Although I sometimes could not contain the stage mom in me and prods him to join games, I am just as proud when he dances and says to me, "Look at me Mommy!" or when he would ask me if he could join the party games.

As a parent, I realized how important it is to encourage our children to be who they are and let them know how special they can be. A child can be like a firework - we just got to ignite the light and let them shine. Make them know their worth as they shoot across the sky.